Empty Promises

So I'm packing to head back to Dbq to stay there for a month to take a summer course for grad. school! Anyways, I was moving stuff around my room and packing/unpacking from college and to head back.....so I came across my stack of year books from Junior High and High School. So I decided to flip them open and read through them. I realize they are filled with so many empty promises. The fakeness that seeps through the pages. Especially the messages from my ex best friend. Reading through the pages all the times we have have this now odd sense to them. They were great don't get me wrong! I did miss having her as one of my best friends for quite some time, but I went to college and met new friends and grew close to them. But it's odd to ready the things she wrote: How we'd always be best friends forever, the boys in our lives, ducky ducky!, movies, sushi, Friday's!, swimming, ping-pong, tennis, volleyball, barnes and noble, anime, starbucks, coffee, dulce de leche ice cream, Ski!, piano, jokes, friends, hanging out, lack of sleep, chatting endlessly, etc. If there was one person in this world that I could say really knew me and knew me the best and could read my mind (because we had ESP like you wouldn't believe and had to think things and the other knew, we drove so many friends and boy-toys crazy with that one!),etc. So many good memories. The promises to always be friends, how we'd be each others maid of honor, planning wedding, vacations, jobs, Cali, I know this is a rant. But that was Anh and me in a nutshell: cute, sweet, and quirky! That's who we were. We were ourselves. I don't think I've been so open with anyone in my life besides her. I knew her and she knew me. The reason our friendship ended was a series of events that one could not control. Her boyfriend, then her ex, who was one of my good friends where he was like a brother to me, new boyfriends and friends, different classes and commitments, actions of her boyfriend at the time who accidentally was hitting on Arlene and me when he thought we were Anh, it was totally understandable, but yeah wasn't good! Just a lot of things. But what put the biggest wedge between us was the fight her and Arlene had....and trust me it was STUPID!!! But they stopped talking, and it trickled down to me not talking to her as well because I was stuck in the middle and Arlene and I were friends longer (2nd grade compared to 4th grade), but there was no question that I was closer to Anh than Arlene. I didn't have to chose, the choice was forced on me because I still talked to her now ex boyfriend, Arlene, and had new friends (not better ones at the time). I just can't believe Anh and I aren't friends at all. I remember the last time I tried to talk to her. It was at high school graduation. I said hi and congrats to her, and she said hi and walked about 20 feet away from me and just stood there doing nothing, talking to no one, just walked away from me. She hated me for things I couldn't control. It's stupid that friendship ever fell apart. If there was one person in this world that I ever wished I was friends with still....it's her. Maybe you can't understand that, but that's how close we were. We had a few little fights, be we always worked things out. We had a sorta fight with so many other complicated things on top of it that it just fell apart. I tried, but she was being a bitch about some stuff. I have photos from my birthday sitting out in my room from that year, and that's the last picture I have of the three crazy, smart, quirky, and sweet girls! :P

Reading my yearbooks are filled with empty promises not just from her, but from practically everyone. Is anyone really sincere today? There are messages in there from people I'm still friends with, I read those pages and am like wow, how am I still friends with them now, when I barely was senior year! But I'm glad I've become better friends with them since college! :)

I should get back to packing, I leave for Dbq tomorrow!!! Moving back to take a class into Brad and Ryan's apt! :) I'm excited! :P