I'm such a sucker for The Bachelor

Yeah you heard me, I'm such a sucker for The Bachelor. But not that much of a sucker cuz I watched Heroes which has a thirty minute overlap with it and then flip to The Bachelor afterwards! Then tomorrow I'll watch it off of ABC's webpage!!! So I totally blame AMY for me liking this show!!! When we were freshmen we used to tape this show and watch this and ER together with Rachel. Well, mostly it was Amy who wanted to watch it and before I knew it, it was Amy and me! And we were hooked! lol! Anyways this season of The Bachelor is by far my favorite!!!! Okay for starters, The Bachelor is so HOT!!!! Okay for me to say a guy is really hot and sexy is a big deal!!!! Don't believe me?! See for yourself!!!

See Andy is totally hot and sexy!!! Anyways, he's honestly my favorite bachelor not because he is the hottest, because he's honestly the best bachelor they have ever had. He is an amazing stand up, all around, nice guy! He's not an asshole like most of the others have been! He's truly sincere and I actually enjoy this season because of it! He's a special operations Navy diver and a doctor and has some amazing values to top it off! I also love this season because I definitely have a favorite girl since early on and she's still in (Tessa).

I love the way Andy courts Tessa. I guess maybe it's because I relate to her and that's what I want from a guy. Plus Andy reminds me of all my favorite ex-boyfriends rolled into one! Just who he is and how he lives his life at least portrays really takes me back to my three favorite ex's and one guy I always wonder about from way back in high school (and if you don't know who this guy is, you really don't know me, I liked him for like two years and we should have dated before senior year, but didn't cuz he thought I didn't like him and he never had a chance..that's what you get for not telling me how you feel, cuz I won't tell you first!). I bet most people could guess two of them, but the third, that's my secret! Obviously the two are my last two longest relationships, Brian (2 yrs) and Vytas (1.5 hrs). Both great guys in their own regards. Went separate ways from both of them with good reasons: Not heading down the same road in life, different religious and family beliefs, too ambitious, needing space, needing time to be on my own, and needing time to grow more before settling too much and I just couldn't do it with him anymore! The last was the honestly one of the hardest things to do, to go against my heart, but I don't regret the break, just all the hell, grief, lies, and hurt! It showed me I needed to grow and mature and be on my own! Anyways, all great guys as I was saying, and maybe it's cuz Tessa reminds me of myself. Both slow, baby steps, like to test the waters, but not to get hurt! I don't pour my heart out to guys, i just can't. They have to tell me how they feel and not the other way around! That's the whole scenario with Andy and Tessa. Andy courts Tessa, tells Tessa how he feels about her, etc. Eventually she gets cornered by Andy to tell her how she feels! The boys is the key to getting me. Not that anyone who reads this really cares. I'm old fashioned and I love it! i like the courting, I like the dates, and I'm way more girly than people think or I'll ever let on! I love those things!

Speaking of courting, after my rant of boys I logged offline and was invisible for a few days and what do you know, many more problems solved! :) Plus I've been sick so I haven't had to see stupid boys! Meaning the ones that are really serious have found me. One of the cutest things ever was this guy who I met at a party about a month ago now, we had a planned date, but to make a long story short, his parents are divorced and his real dad called him, so he went out to visit him for the day since he hadn't seen him in over two years! So he had to break our date, I was disappointed cuz I was looking forward to it. First date since someone came to visit me.....no comment on that one right now, cuz if you read this you should know how I feel even if you don't know who. Anyways, this boy is a good guy, works 14 hours 6 days a week, so he doesn't have a lot of free time considering he gets off from his second job at 11PM usually! :( So I don't get to see him much! But we've hung out a few times since the time we met at the party! Anyways, we talk on the phone 2-3 times a week for about 20 minutes and send texts back and forth this has been going on since we met! So I was sick last week and he doesn't have internet so he doesn't know my screen name, but he brought me a small boutique of lilies! He had no idea in my screen name has lily in it!!! SO CUTE!!! Okay I might be allergic to flowers not that he knew, but I loved them nevertheless! Actually, I'm only really bad with carnations. I'm not bad with lilies and roses! He felt bad about breaking our date, but I totally understood! That's the thing about me, I'm so understanding like you wouldn't believe! Yeah I was disappointed but I definitely understood without question! I have a million reasons why not to fall for this guy, and I'm not going to. He's from Dubuque and I'm from Chi-town and I'm leaving exactly in a week! YEAH for GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I'm super psyched!

Okay, last entry rant about stupid boys! I retract the statement of not open to the possibility of a boyfriend. There's two right guys and if I had a chance with either I'd take them. But I'm not going to have that chance right now, and I'm not willing to date a guy who is even 3 hrs away from him. Honestly, this guy hear, great guy, he's not my type though. Not that I have a type, I just too many things I don't like and that are lacking the biggest being he never wants to leave Dubuque ever! I'm not okay with that! I'm on a different time table then him with different goals! I'm more mature, let's start with that fact that I'm 2 years older than him! He's 20, and isn't 21 until the end of December, by the time he's 21, I'm already 23! This point and time graduating from college is just a major milestone, and we're on different wavelengths! He asked if he could come visit me in Chi-town some time this summer though! He's like I'm willing to come see you hinting at the fact that he does want to date, but I've set him straight about that! I like hanging out with him and spending time with him and chatting on the phone, but right now is not good for me!

I've never needed a guy in my life, why start now?! Some day, but right now, I don't need it! I miss it! God, I miss the simple things more than anyone would ever know! I'm such a girl, just really undercover about it! I'm a tomboy on the outside and I like a lot of things the guys tend to like, but I'm still strong women surprisingly if you get me to let my guard down! That's the thing, guys get annoyed with me cuz I'm not quick to trust and let my guard down! I'm just not! It's why I'm not close with people and why I feel awkward around them!

Grr..I need to get back to studying!!! Stupid finals! Human Anatomy tomorrow! Wish me Luck!!! :)