The weekend I was looking forward to...

Well, the weekend that I was looking forward to so much has passed! I had a great weekend with this guy I like. He came to visit when he didn't have to, but he wanted to! :) He learned there's not much in Dbq, but we still had a good time despite my friends being unavailable to hang out for certain reasons. Anyways, we had fun went out to dinner, hung with friends, watched movies, drove around the area, etc. I think the best part of the weekend was the fact that he came. I only wished he would have stayed! I really didn't want him to go, we had a great weekend! Although I'm disappointed in myself for not saying how I felt about him and the fact I acted really distant on Sunday when he had to leave to go back home....too bad he's so far away! :( I had a really great time, just timing sucks and I dunno what I'm doing coming up here shortly! The future has too many unknowns!

Saturday night was fun! He took me out for Sushi at the new Japanese restaurant! I've never had sushi before then! It was so good!!! I love it! Then we hung out at The Lounge, a quiet spot that makes Swamp Water! It's good with tons of alcohol in it!!! But, it just so happened my one group of friends were there! So the guys came up to me and said hi and a few gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek cuz that's the way they are with all the girls! Anyways, worst part was my ex was there. Of course he kept smiling at me and waving at me from the bar and starting. So I was like come say hi and stop staring! I'm sure this annoyed the guy I went with, he seemed a bit annoyed I knew people but didn't really introduce him, cuz they came to quickly say hi and leave! Anyways...so Aaron came over and wanted to chat a bit. But of course he wanted a hug first and my guy seemed a bit like wtf is going on and who are all these people! lol! Anyways, we had fun eating popcorn and having a few drinks together and just chatting! It was nice to spend time with him, I never really had! I like just being around him and the way he made me feel. I can't explain it, but I liked being all curled up next to him watching movies and chatting! It was comfortable, which anyone who knows me knows that is a very hard thing for me to do! I'm just not open and comfortable around people cuz I don't like to get hurt. I don't let a lot of people into my life. I enjoy being alone to come extent! I like having alone time and just doing what I need to do and enjoying things I love no matter if anyone else does! I never look for approval. I'm me and that's all I know how to be. Anyways, I wish he was closer.

Now that he's gone it's weird. He used to get online and IM all the time and we'd chat. Since he's left, he's barely said a word! :( It confuses me. He tells me he had a great time here, kisses me goodbye. Tells me online he had a great time and then that's it. We don't talk anymore! He never IM's, e-mails, messages me, texts, or calls me like he has in the past! I didn't realize anything changed between us! We both knew this weekend was for fun and that we couldn't be together if we wanted to because of how far we are and who knows when we'll see each other next! I guess I'm disappointed and let down. I hate that! So my friend who's at school has tried to sweep in thinking that in some way I'm emotionally vulnerable and try to step back into my life sorta like a boyfriend. Of course he's naive and doesn't know me well enough to know that his plan doesn't work! He sends me text messages all the time which are like I miss you, come sleep with me, I want to cuddle with you, etc. Funny how I ignore them or respond with I'm too busy or uninterested! I don't think he'll ever get the hint! Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with him, but that's it! I see him as a friend. I know if I wanted a boyfriend I could have one. I have my choices of three guys at school, but I just don't like them the way they like me. If I had my choice, I do have someone I'd like to date if only the circumstances surrounding that was different, but it's not! I'm happy the way I am for the most part! I do miss having someone in my life, but it's not essential by any means!

Anyways, I'm back at home in the burbs. Nice to be home sorta. I haven't spent any time at home, I've been avoiding it! But it was nice to get away from Dbq, although it's really grown on me more recently. I'm actually going to miss it, and I actually never thought I would! But I'm at home which means I can download ANIME again!! So i'm enjoying and checking out some newer stuff! :) Sucks being home though, I don't talk to anyone here anymore nor do they talk to me. I'm stil friends with some people, but very loosely! I hung out with Paul, he's about the only one I always see and hang out with over all my breaks when I'm at home! No one else calls me but him. I guess that says a lot! My friends from school call, but that's about it. Anyways, I think I'm going to hang out with some people from school tonight who live about 25 minutes away! later~