So much for no more regrets....

I realize now as I pack how much I regret about this summer! I regret many things, not things I didn't do, but for once things I did! I think somewhere along the lines I forgot to stop and think about things at times! I wish I spent most of my summer with this one guy....I haven't really seen him much all summer...like twice I think! But last time I saw him he confused how much he liked me and how much he wishes I was his girlfriend....yes I know creepy, but a bit sweet at the same time. It's just like it's too late! I'm leaving...why tell me 4 days before I'm supposed to leave?! What's the point when he already knows that! I mean I originally met him on a blind date two of my friends set me up on! It was the worst blind date I've ever been on, but me and him managed a friendship and that has been on and off a bit more, but not really! He's one of the few that have come to visit me at college! Although his motives have been somewhat annoying in the past, but he stopped being like that for once, which is nice! But still, I just don't see him and me together....is it weird to know there's a guy out there who wants you to be his in the end, but I have no interest really at all! When the one a part of my heart has always belonged is someone I barely talk to anymore! That's life for you! I'm just going with the flow of things, but for once I really regret two things all concerning with a person. I really wish nothing happened between this guy and me. I feel like every time we hang out with other friends there that it's just awkward. I feel awkward hanging around with him after everything has happened! I regret getting drunk with him in June and there after! I mean what was really the point. I didn't mind the drinking with him, but it's everything else that seemed to follow our MO after just one time of seeing each other. I feel like I was more or less just on the rebound, but usually you attach a bit to someone you have feelings for! But I didn't, I attached just a bit to a guy I've never liked for more than a split second (and that was even years ago), but our chemistry has never been great. Which is why I regret even more things! I know I'm being vague....I'm not a name dropper and it's better that I don't drop names just in case people come across this! I really wish for once I could take things back in my life, but it's too late. At the time I didn't regret things, but now my last day at home, I realize how much I do. I really wish I had hung out with the volleyball crew more, I had a great time just chilling with them last night! But now, we're off on our separate ways! I think the one thing I missed this summer more than anything was my best friend! I really missed now having her around! I wish she was here and we spent more time together or that I had gone down and visited her at school on the weekends or something! See it's usually the things I don't do that I regret....it feels worse to regret things you actually did though...things you can never take back or ever get back....