Busy Bee

Well, I've been a very busy bee that last few days. Yesterday, I spent all day running errands after working out. Still can't find black flip flops in my size, grrr, broke my black ones at a party almost a year ago now! Bought Sin City for $10! Got Arlene half of her b-day gift. The other have is TBD, but something in the alcohol realm! Any suggestions?! She didn't even drink on her 21st b-day! So I'm definately gonna get her drinking on Saturday's Party! :) Excited! Ran a bunch of other errands too for my mom! That night I played some hardcore sand volleyball, 3 v 3 style! My team kicked ass! We went 3-0 on the night! Somehow Mike, Vidalus (I don't know how to spell his crazy Lituanian name), and me were unstoppable! I served out about every match! Always started us out with at least 5 pts! It was awesome! So sore the next morning though!

Today, got up sore from playing volleyball for 3 hrs the night before, and went to observe for a few hours! That was fun learned a few things, I mean I enjoyed it. Did some stuff around the house, then went to play some more awesome sand volleyball with the crew! Another good day! 4 v 4 today! So I wouldn't have been too sore tonight had i not been sore from yesterday; needless to say, I'm laying in bed. I think my legs don't move anymore! They are sore! But it was fun! So I'm offically part of the crew now! :) Yeah! I made new friends, aren't ya proud?! lol! Rest of the night just laying in bed and watching tv, rewatching Stephen King's Nightmares and Dreamscapes on TNT! I taped them too! So far they did Battleground and Crouch End! I thought they were done pretty well! Although, I never read battleground. But they had visually appealing plots.

Well, tomorrow is just another day. Gotta do some house work and cleaning. Ugh! Get in my work out too as usual. Eventually meeting up with the crew to play some volleyball or something! So it should be fun! :)

I have this guy I get drunk with. Him and I are friends and all. But I spend the whole night half flirting with him to not make everything so awkward so to speak. It's like I spend half the night faking it through because of something. I guess what I mean to say, is that yeah I have a good time hanging out with him. But the kissing and stuff is all fake. I just am finding it hard to fake it anymore. We both know the situation, both know we have no strings attached, but is it bad I don't want to fake it anymore because I'm seriously not interest in him in the slighest bit. I never have been. He kissed me once before a long time ago back in the old days. He asked me out too, I remember playing it off, and I remember getting in trouble for coming home after midnight. I think i rolled in about 1:30AM that day! opps, wasn't looking at the time! We were all like sleepy that day hanging out and I didn't even notice it was so late. Even then, I just didn't find anything in his kiss that was appealing to me then or even now. I mean he's a great guy, but not my guy, not my type of guy. We're just too different that it would never work, and I've always known that. That's why I never even thought twice about him kissing me or asking me out.

I never even considered him, nor would I ever, and I wouldn't even blink an eye about it. He's not even the type of guy I like. The guys I like are based on the internal characteristics, but I'll start with the outer ones just for fun. Well, if you know me and know me well, I like my guys tall, dark, handsome, and a little buff! :) I mean Ken in high school was the guy I liked, and not because of the way he looked, that was just a major bonus! I definately found him appealing! I guess he really embodied a lot of what I wanted in a guy and always have. Too bad he's the one I let slip through my fingers, I still regret that, but it's in the past! Anyways, the first thing I look at catches my eye about a guy is his eyes. I guess i've always had a thing about the way a guy can look at you and smile. If i don't know the color of your eyes in detail, trust my i'm not interested. If you ask me and I just say blue or brown, strike out for you because I'm obviously not interested. Like for example, my ex, his eyes were hazel, when they were on the brownish side they always were yellowish around his pupil and at the edges they were a gray blue, in between they were shades of brown. Get my drift...good.

Well, I guess the first thing that catches my eye about a guys character is his loyalty, trust, respect, and a good sense of humor. He doesn't have to be Mr. Funny, but I'm so sarcastic most of the time, if you don't know me well, I guess you'd missed that one. I really like guys who are loyal, trusting, and respectful no matter what. It speaks to me a lot about their character. I like my guys to be smart too, they don't have to be brillant, but someone who I can chat with about anything and he can educate me about other things. I enjoy having intellectually stimulating conversations even when I don't know a damn thing about the subject! Other times, I'm the expert! Sports have been my life, so I prefer guys who will go out and play sports, even if they suck at them, but at least they willing to try, and they watch a little bit too! I like them to be nice, caring, affectionate, etc. It's all the typical things. I guess I know what I want, but i'm not gonna write it all down here. I mean I like people with a future, people who have reasonable goals or half know what they want, I mean i don't like life planned out. But i hate people who are like hey i have this useless degree, i don't know why I went to college besides to party, and now I work no where or at some minimum wage grunt work. It's like what happened to you?! Maybe that's just me. It's not about money, it's about dreaming and wanting things in life and achieving them. I don't feel like going on. I guess I want what every girl wants. The difference is, I don't settle for a guy who isn't these things, or isn't a guy I mesh well with. I mean I won't date guys who aren't. I've gotten picky in my years! So this guy, I've been getting drunk with and what not, well he is a great guy in his own means, but he's not one of the guys i would ever consider dating. So you ask why write this or why even mention anything. Truth is, I dunno, but the fact remains I care not for him, nor will I ever, so the stupid question is why do I keep allowing myself to get drunk with him and let the night proceed as planned when i'm clearly not interested. Funny how we all use each other. Because I know we are both using each other to fill a need of the other, for me, I think it's two things. One the obvious and two the other obvious, but i bet you don't know the two obvious's when it comes to me. I'm a simple girl, enough said. But I can't stop laughing about why I let this go on agreeing to use each other and fake it through the night. Although I have fun hanging out with him, it's the faking it that i don't find fun. A fake kiss of passion, lust, etc, is a waste of kiss if you ask me. So why should allow myself to waste my kisses on a guy that means absolutely nothing to me?! Yet, I'm the shy, old-fashioned girl lwhen it comes to the guys I've been going out on dates with, or the other guy that I kinda like and spend time with we're both in the same town. Riddle me this: Why do I waste my kisses on a guy who doesn't deserve them, but conserve them for the ones that do?!?! Riddle me this! (Hint 1: I'm shy! Hint 2: I'm old-fashioned.....I think that only begins to answer that question!)

On a side note, I must admit, at times I miss having a boyfriend. I mean I've been dating a guy or seeing a guy for about 4 straight years now! I mean since senior year of high school! I need a break, I need to be single, but I miss my phone ringing with a hey you! I miss being called an angel, and all the inside jokes I had with my ex. I miss the way he would run up to me and grab me, pick me up, etc. I miss the way he held me in his arms and kissed me. My good night visits every night!I miss the way i fell asleep in his arms. I miss his warmth! I miss the way he smiles at me. What i miss most of all is just having someone there. Maybe that's why I let my kisses be wasted on a guy I have no interest there. I think in a sense he fills a void of me missing my boyfriend. But I don't even look at him that way at all, i don't know how to make that any clearer. I guess it's nice to find yourself in some guys arms, even if he's completely wrong, but for now, our agreement fills a void. A void for both of us, yet we both use each other, the best part is, I know I won't get hurt! I don't regret anything between the two of us, but I feel absolutely no attachment or attraction towards him. Maybe that's why I make sure to get drunk when I'm with him! Although last time, I was about ready to pass out from being so tired and drunk!

I laugh about my secret life. People have no idea about me what so ever. Ha and you call yourself my friend. Isn't it interesting why practically none of my friends are even aware of the fact that I have a blog or even know the adress of it! :P I will always be the girl full of secrets! I like it that way! :)