Past Meets Present

This weekend was fun getting to hang out and party with my old friends from high school! I almost decided not to come...but i'm glad i did. It's been a long time seeing some of them...since senior year of high school! Overall, I had a great time....some things are kinda fuzzy....i dunno. I felt so sick this morning....i've never been sicker before in my life. I didn't have any water until i was way past gone and nothing to eat either...opps...those are two no no's when it comes to me and drinking....it's weird not having people around who know me and force me to drink water! I'd say that i got a little carried away! Felt okay until this morning when my body was purging itself of every last drop of alcohol! But it was fun overall! Chatting with people who i haven't seen in forever playing some drinking games and what not! At first, I felt a little outta place, but after being there 20 minutes it was like it was normal, back to the old ways and friend. So my friends of the past have decided to remerge and meet one of my current friends, Christa! I miss her as my roomie...we screwed up and should have been roommates again....oh well...next year we're hoping for a spot in the NAC with Christa, Margo, and Jen! So that should be fun! But i'm gonna miss my Margo this spring while she studies abroad in Pretoria, South Africa!!! :( Oh well.
Anyways, I'm gonna chalk up anything said to me at the party as drunken talk when it comes to expressing how someone feels about me. Even if all words exchanged were true, I had nothing to regret in the morning, but he probably did. I can't have anything to regret when i'm in an open relationship and my boyfriend is at home spending lots of time with his ex-girlfriend that he stilll likes and hasn't gotten over and now she likes him again. So chances are when i return to school and he doesn't come to visit me, I'm gonna guess it's over...no matter who pulls the plug. I guess it kinda sucks lately. We've been dating for over a year and then outta the blue we run into his ex and he starts acting differently, and i knew he still liked her from just that one encounter. Puts me in a bind to say the least. No matter how much i care about my current boyfriend, I just wish he's pay a little more attention to me, and we all know i'm not an attention whore by any means. I want a guy who will be there for me. I guess who will wrap his arms around me and hold me close and tell me that he cares about me. "Love" can wait, that word still scares me. I don't want to hear whispered i love you's...i just want to hear that someone cares about me and likes me for me. Too bad there's too many obstacles in all guys interested. Then there's the guy I went to homecoming with, the guy who still pawns over me and hasn't "seen" anyone at all because no girl is like me to him. I've always been the one that got away from him, but he's also been the one that got away from me too! So i guess it's all even in love and war! I decided i'm not gonna worry about how a certain friend feels about me. If he's interested he knows how to get a hold of me, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna jump at the oppertunity because i'm tied down too in a sense. An open relationship leaves me with options. I can't help but to think that i should of kissed him because i'd have no regret myself, but that simple kiss would have told me everything i needed to know. But for now, i will not think of things regreted and in the past. The past is the past and timing has never been my thing. I was a bit worried that things would be odd between me and my ex-boyfriend...but to tell you the truth it wasn't at all! Funny cuz we haven't spoken since we basically broke up sophomore year of high school. I was glad it wasn't a problem nor did it feel weird on any level. I guess the only weird thing about seeing my friends from the past is that they are almost all exactly the same people, which is good, but it brings back feelings that i haven't had in a long time. I miss these friends, friends who actually like to do things and hang out, who are fun and cool, and you never have a bad time with unless you make it that way yourself. I guess i've missed them all for so long and they have never known the difference. If there was one batch of friends i wish i still had and hung out with all the time...it would be them. Too bad that they'll never really know how much i miss them all as friends, but i haven't been missed one bit! Because if I was, they all wouldn't have stopped talking to me. Anyways.....i think i'm gonna go watch what's left of one of the football games...say bears and flacons! Go Falcons!!!!
Pictures will be posted shortly, mostly on facebook and i'll tag people and put a few up here! later~